My niece Mandy sent me this. It is now 11 pm and steriods are still going strong!Funny UPS Mechanics
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some [supposedly] actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
9 comments:
These are great and so hilarious. I loved one of the last ones that said it sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer and the solution was they took the hammer away from the midget. It seems like they enjoy their job which is always a good thing.
I thought this email was very smart and funny. It made me laugh out loud.
Mindy, those are side splitting funny. I will be laughing all day. I love your blog, and am glad you are feeling well after the new treatment. Praise & Praise!!
I'm glad you enjoyed it, Jannette!
mindy won't you consider taking down these bald pictures of yourself? they are unflattering and disgraceful. it is a shame women like you and amanda and margie cut their hair so short or completely off. god wants you to look like women. not men.
With all due respect to your feelings, I have lost my hair due to chemotherapy; I have not just shaved it off--it is not growing. I have no hair right now.
Also, I have a request for you: please do not hide behind anonymity if you feel you really have something worthwile to discuss. If your desire is simply to be mean, I will edit your future comments.
Thank you.
One more thing--Margie & Amanda are two examples of beautiful Christian womanhood to everyone who knows them.
Amen Mindy!
This post made me laugh so hard if anyone would have walked in my office at that exact time would have thought me a bit touched. I sent it around to the Breast Surgical Oncologist folks and my son who works on planes in the USAF. Still saying my prayers for you. - KellyLee
Thank you for the continued prayer, KellyLee! I'm glad you enjoyed the post--it's one of the funniest I have ever read.
It's nice to hear from you. Take care.
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